Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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