I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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