I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize