that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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