so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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