You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
