the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
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I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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