Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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