Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
