do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
