brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Yo dont text me then not text me
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
