Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
