so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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