I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
