Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize