I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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