I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
