Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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