Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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