wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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