It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
