I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
