Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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