is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
