party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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