Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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