It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
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I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
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so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.