Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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