Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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