coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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