I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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