Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
