Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
