she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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