she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
