I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
