One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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