My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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