You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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