So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
