You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
