Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
