Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
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We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
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my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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