..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
