He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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