Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
