I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
