So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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