btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
