I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just cut my nipple shaving
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
