I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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