i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just threw up on my dentist
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
