Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
