first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
