i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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