Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
