But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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