and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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