I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
