he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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