im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
