Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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