you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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